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Who Takes Care of the Children after Divorce in Germany?
Custody, Contact Rights and Parental Decisions after Separation
In Germany, the best interests of the child (Kindeswohl) have absolute priority in the context of divorce.
This means that custody is not automatically awarded to one parent on the basis of gender or income; instead, it is decided according to the child’s living situation and each parent’s ability to care for the child.
German law also encourages the continuation of joint parental responsibility even after separation, except in special cases.
In this article, we explain who looks after the children after divorce, when custody can be granted to only one parent, and what rights the other parent retains.
1. Legal custody after divorce (Sorgerecht)
General rule: joint custody (Gemeinsames Sorgerecht)
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As a rule, legal custody remains with both parents together after divorce.
It includes:
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Educational decisions
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Choice of school
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Important medical decisions
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Travel abroad
This right is only withdrawn by a court decision if there is harm to the child or a serious risk of harm.
2. With whom does the child live? (Alltagssorge / Aufenthaltsbestimmungsrecht)
Here we distinguish between:
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Legal custody (major decisions – usually still joint), and
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The right to determine the child’s place of residence (Aufenthaltsbestimmungsrecht), which is often awarded to one parent.
Possible models:
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Residence model (Residenzmodell)
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The child lives mainly with either the mother or the father.
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The other parent sees the child according to a fixed schedule (for example, every second weekend and part of the holidays).
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Alternating residence / shared care (Wechselmodell)
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The child lives alternately with both parents (e.g. one week with the mother, one week with the father).
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This requires a high level of cooperation and a relatively short distance between the two homes.
In practice, the residence model (Residenzmodell) is the most common model in Germany.
Who decides where the child lives?
If the parents cannot agree, the court decides on the basis of:
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The child’s age
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Emotional and school stability
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Housing and living conditions of both parents
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Time capacity and actual ability to provide care
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The child’s wishes (especially from around the age of 12)
3. Rights of the non-resident parent (Umgangsrecht)
The parent with whom the child does not live has a full right of contact (Umgangsrecht).
Typically, this includes:
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Contact every second weekend
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Sharing public holidays and school vacations
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Regular phone or video calls
If contact is obstructed or refused, the affected parent can apply to the court to enforce their contact rights.
4. When is sole custody granted to one parent?
The court can grant sole custody (Alleiniges Sorgerecht) to one parent if:
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The other parent is completely absent (e.g. untraceable),
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The other parent causes psychological or physical harm to the child or poses a serious risk,
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The other parent persistently acts against the child’s best interests or permanently blocks necessary decisions.
In such situations, the parent with sole custody makes all major decisions alone.
5. Child maintenance (Kindesunterhalt)
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The non-resident parent is obliged to pay monthly child maintenance according to the Düsseldorf Table (Düsseldorfer Tabelle).
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The amount depends on their income and the number of children.
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Maintenance is usually paid until the age of 18 – and beyond if the child is in education or training.
6. What about school and medical decisions?
As long as joint custody exists:
The parents must agree on:
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Transferring the child to a new school
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Major medical procedures or operations
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Relocating to another city or another country
Neither parent may take such far-reaching decisions alone without the consent of the other, unless a court has specifically granted this decision-making power to one parent.
Summary
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| Who looks after the child after divorce? | Usually one parent (residence model – Residenzmodell) |
| Does joint custody remain in place? | Yes, unless a court rules otherwise |
| Does the non-resident parent have rights? | Yes, especially visitation and contact rights |
| Who decides where the child lives? | The court, if the parents cannot reach an agreement |
| Is sole custody possible? | Yes, but only if the child’s best interests are at risk under joint custody |
Key legal terms
| Term | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Sorgerecht | Legal custody |
| Aufenthaltsbestimmungsrecht | Right to determine the child’s place of residence |
| Umgangsrecht | Contact and visitation rights |
| Alleiniges Sorgerecht | Sole custody |
| Wechselmodell | Alternating/shared residence model |
| Kindeswohl | Best interests of the child |
Conclusion
When determining who will care for the children after divorce, German law places the best interests of the child above all else. In most cases, custody remains joint, while the child’s everyday place of residence is decided by agreement between the parents or by a court.
The non-resident parent is granted legally protected contact and visitation rights. A good understanding of these rights and duties helps to protect the child and maintain a balanced family relationship after divorce.
The editorial team of the website strives to provide accurate information through extensive research and consultation of several sources. However, errors may occur or some information may be incomplete or uncertain. Therefore, the information contained in these articles should be regarded only as an initial point of reference, and you should always contact the competent authorities or qualified professionals for binding and case-specific advice.
